I Weighed

April 6, 2008 at 12:23 am (Uncategorized)

Thursday I stopped by my doctor’s office to be weighed before I started a busy day. I have to admit to being a little disappointed. My weight was up from my February 11 weighing, from 313.3 to 315.7. I had hoped, of course, that it would be down, but for all I know it is! I started eating mindfully, according to the Geneen Roth approach 16 days ago (that was before I saw the Paul McKenna show I Can Make You Thin). Up until the very day I started eating consciously, I was gaining weight, and I have no idea how much weight I gained. I don’t really have a starting weight. I guess 315.7 will have to be my starting weight.

Not only was I disappointed to have discovered that I had gained weight, but I was disappointed in myself for being disappointed. I keep telling my friend, Jane, that this isn’t about weight loss for me at this point, but that it’s about my relationship with food. I want to continue down this road of peace, calm and sanity. I want to continue to watch my world expand as I have time for more in my life than food and weight issues, and I have more energy.  When I discovered that I was disappointed I had to really think about it; I finally decided that the disappointment was that I gained, not so much that I hadn’t lost. At any rate, I haven’t overeaten as a result of the number of the scale — a new reaction for me!

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